so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
