Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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