I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
