Where is the hickey?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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