Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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