Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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