If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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