my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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