does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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