well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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