Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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