I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
