I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
