I heard we made out
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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