Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
