I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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