NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
