not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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