That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
