The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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