Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize