i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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