Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im part way to drunk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
