he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
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I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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