I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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