you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
