Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.

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(816): View more from Missouri

My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.

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(352): View more from Florida

Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

(1-352): View more from Florida

What?

(352): View more from Florida

Just dont open the beer drawer.

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(907): View more from Alaska

She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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(951): View more from California

Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.

(1-951): View more from California

I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.

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(714): View more from California

after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit

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