im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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