i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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