My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
