i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
