ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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