He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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