I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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