We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
