Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
