The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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