She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
