Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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