I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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