he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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