He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dick very happy bro
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
