did you get engaged???
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
