May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
