i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
