At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
