Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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