you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
