But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
