New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
