I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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