apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
