Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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