I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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