And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
