Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize