I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
