In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
