Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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