At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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