he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Im part way to drunk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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